jon vander ark

you are too uptight

2009-10-20T00:59:00.000-07:00

I know I know, it happened two weeks ago. It's funny, I haven't heard too much discussion about the prize lately and I think it just goes to illustrate my thoughts just that much more. I should preface this by saying as a Christian, most would say that I lean heavily conservative. I didn't vote for the president, but I feel nothing but goodwill towards him. The burden of leadership is not an easy task, particularly for the sincere of heart, which I believe he is. There are probably a plethora of things that we disagree on, but as a Marine I know that I could, and would, give my life for him.

With that at the fore, congratulations to President Obama on the Nobel Peace Prize! I think it is a wonderful and deserved award. It is my hope that the prize money (which you have reportedly donated to charity) is blessed by God and your fame a testament to His glory. This was my initial reaction to the news of this honor being bestowed him.

Unfortunately, there are a good number of critics who can't seem to celebrate another being honored. Funny, just weeks prior a certain Mr. West had to butt in and speak his mind about awards being unfairly given to the wrong person. Ironic, the President's label of West as a 'jackass' was nearly celebrated and universally lauded by all. In a similar event one man was given an award which was immediately criticized by critics everywhere. Polls were done, bumper sticker slogans splashed on the news and people became angry; for what?

More people remember the entertainment award winners (VMA, Oscars, Emmys, etc) for years (generations?) in comparison to the Nobel Peace Prize. Why is it so upsetting that President Obama won a prize that you didn't even know came out in October until 3 weeks ago? Why do you critics care? Is it so difficult to just put your biases aside and congratulate a winner?

Mr. West apologized, but is still considered a jackass by many. Perhaps Mr. West's label should be slapped a bit more firmly on those critics who cannot be humbled into graciously recognizing President Obama's and apologizing for their overtly political and illogical actions.

As for the argument that the President has done nothing; give it rest. He is President of the United States of America. There have only been 44 of them, so I'd say he's in fairly prestigious company. He's done a bit more than you just by getting there and certainly influenced more people. My guess is that you couldn't name one bill that he has introduced and helped pass not for lack of the evidence, but due to a lack of your interest.

All in all, it comes down to this. Stop being so damn uptight, and give your President props. He did what you will never do. (in the 1 in 6 800 000 000 chance that you receive the Nobel Peace Prize next year, congratulations)

1 750 000 000 + Wisdom + Church ≠ Love

2009-10-13T20:42:00.000-07:00

There are few things the world talks more about than love. It is a simple word really; easy to spell and even easier to shout! It rolls off the tip of the tongue of young and old alike, the drunk and the sober both talk of it, and a quick Google search reveals 1,750,000,000 results – approximately 1,500,000 more than a search for porn. The word is everywhere, but those who know and experience it are few. And so we search for it. Books are written, seminars are hosted and money flows. Yet all the wisdom of the world leaves us with is emotion and passion; as Pearl Jam laments: “hearts and thoughts they fade; they fade away.”¹

Sadly, professing Christians everywhere have fallen into the same trap. They desire love, but do not know where to look or how to act. To exasperate the matter, they not only desire love; they are commanded to give it. When asked what the greatest of all the laws was, Jesus replied “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment.”² Despite Jesus’ sacrifice, many fail to see or understand love, and so Paul exhorts Christians in one of his letters to the church in Corinth:

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never ends.”³

And so Christians everywhere memorize this verse and act as if they love one another because they read what love is. Unfortunately, they have not reflected wholly on what Paul is saying. The Christians I talk to can always quickly recall that “love is patient; love is kind” but everything else is forgotten. The passage must be taken as a whole, or not at all. The love Paul talks about is on that is counter-cultural and focused on the good news of Jesus’ death and resurrection. The great Dietrich Bonhoeffer makes a distinction between human love and spiritual love saying,

“Human love is directed to the other person for his own sake, spiritual love loves him for Christ’s sake. Therefore human love seeks direct contact with the other person; it loves him not as a free person but as one whom it binds to itself. It wants to gain, to capture by every means; it uses force. It desires to be irresistible, to rule. It makes the truth relative, since nothing, not even the truth, must come between it and the beloved person.”⁴

To love someone for Christ’s sake is to love them in a way that is unreasonable and incomprehensible to the non-Christian. In kindness, we put God before those we love, knowing that serving Him is the way in which we serve them. Love does not insist on its own way, it insists on Christ. Bonhoeffer continues, “Because Christ stands between me and others, I dare not desire direct fellowship with them. As only Christ can speak to me in such a way that I may be saved, so others too, can be saved only by Christ himself.”⁵ Christians are to love others focused on their Savior, and hate what goes against God. By hating evil they rejoice in the truth.

Paul’s directive to be patient and kind should not be misunderstood! The two should not be done without truth and a desire to see Christ glorified. Confession, admonishment and discipline are all vital components of truth and, therefore, love. Without those things, any love that is professed is merely an exaggerated form of politeness. Christians are warned not to be lukewarm⁶; but instead understand that their God is a divisive one⁷. Their adherence to the one true God and His will is bound to drive away many, just as showing love to an enemy “heaps coals upon his head.”⁸ Too often Christians do not desire confrontation or disagreement and allow sin to not only creep into their community but also control their own lives. They must find such great joy and hope in the truth that they hate evil and wrongdoing. Without that hatred, they have no love. This is perhaps the most difficult part of loving others. Relationships are built without an understanding of what the purpose or reason for them is. The purpose should be to glorify God, but this is rarely a reality or thought as relationships are usually entered into with a desire and purpose of self-gratification. While gratification certainly is one of the rewards of loving one another as God calls us to do, making it the reason for our relationships leads the type of human love which Bonhoeffer speaks about. Such love is temporal, incomplete and unsatisfying.

Instead Christians are called to love endlessly; enabled by the love they have for Christ The passion and love Christians have for God should naturally translate into serving one another. Paul encourages the church in Philippi to serve as Christ who “took the form of a servant” and “humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death.” If Christ is the focal point of love, then service will naturally be a part of acting out the love. Service is often self-righteous and takes a large amount of effort and calculating. “True service is a lifestyle.”⁹Richard Foster makes the distinction in this way:

“True service finds it almost impossible to distinguish the small from the large service. Where a difference is noted, the true servant is often drawn to the small service, not out of false modesty, but because he genuinely sees it as the more important task. He indiscriminately welcomes all opportunities to serve.”

When Christians love Christ first and then others through that love, they love in a “naïve, unpsychological [sic] and unmethodical”¹⁰ way. The secret as to why and how they love is Christ. As their love for him grows, showing love in that way is an integral part of their life that they cannot shake off or get rid of.

Only through loving the Christ is such a life of love possible. His is a love which requires nothing of the loved; but instead gives the loved an opportunity to love. His love was not motivated by anything his chosen had done or decisions they had made; but was instead pure and endless. John Cobb Jr puts it this way:

“Love is, on the one hand, the only salvation of the spiritual man and, on the other hand, unattainable by his own efforts...We love only because we are first loved. In this way, and only in this way, can the spiritual man genuinely and purely love.”¹¹

Christian love is motivated by nothing other than the love of Jesus. A man Christian man does not love his wife and Christ, but instead loves Christ and as a result of that love he loves his wife. The more he loves Jesus, the greater the love he has for his wife. Such love is a purer and more perfect love; it is beyond human understanding and reason. Without placing Christ ahead of his wife, he is unable to love her completely. This is true for all relationships: husbands and wives, neighbors, co-workers and friends. This love is the only love that is timeless and meaningful, and it is because it is rooted in the only unchangeable and perfect God.

Just as God’s service to us drives us to eagerly serve him, so also should Christians serve one another. They must help others and extend love with a “simpleness and humility rather than out of great analysis and calculation which is often motivated out of a desire to glorify” their own self. Failure to love Christ first will result in an unsuccessful attempt to serve one another because the simpleness and humility is lost due to mankind’s natural tendency to glorify its self. This is the greatest way that Christians fail to love and the biggest problem with churches. They fail to love and serve others because they do not love God or understand His love for them.

It should also be understood that part of loving is being loved. Often times Christians enjoy talking about themselves and what they do so much that they deny the reality of their own brokenness and need to live in humility. We forget that Christ “loved the church”¹¹ and that we are supposed to love and serve him in return. Jesus gave himself up for us, expecting us to give ourselves up to him. As one pastor put it, “Jesus isn’t looking for an hour of your time, a day of the week or even your weekend. He doesn’t want your money or your car or your house. He wants and requires all it. He demands your life!”¹² If Christ demands to be served, should Christians not expect to be served as well? Often times they forget that part of loving is allowing others to serve them. This should not be the case, but they should instead freely delight in allowing others to love as Christ does! Love must be given as well as received. This is most evident with persons who are suffering. People like to serve others who are suffering or are disabled, but the down and out are rarely given the opportunity to love and serve in return. In doing this Christians do not love them, but instead hate them! This is one of the many ways that Christians submit to one another as they are called to in Ephesians 5.

We live in an age of Christianity that not only fails to show love, but grossly misunderstands how to love. All of creation desires love more than anything else, and who could know or display love more than those who belong to the Living God? Christians need to wake up and love as it has been revealed to them and as they are commanded to do.

Before the Throne of God Above

2009-06-01T01:14:00.000-07:00

Before the throne of God above

I have a strong and perfect plea.

A great High Priest whose name is Love

Who ever lives and pleads for me.

My name is graven on His hands,

My name is written on His heart.

I know that while in Heaven He stands

No tongue can bid me thence depart.

When Satan tempts me to despair

And tells me of the guilt within,

Upward I look and see Him there

Who made an end of all my sin!

Because the sinless Savior died

My sinful soul is counted free.

For God the just is satisfied

To look on Him and pardon me.

Behold Him there the risen Lamb,

My perfect spotless righteousness,

The great unchangeable I Am,

The King of Glory and of Grace,

One in Himself I cannot die.

My soul is purchased by His blood,

My life is hid with Christ on high,

With Christ my Savior and my God!

Written by an Irishwoman by the name of Charitie de Cheney Lees Smith Bancroft (now that’s a name!) the lyrics of this incredible hymn have been captivating my mind all day – and I hope it continues to for some time! How much joy can a mind comprehend? The lord of lies and deceit prods, pulls and pushes me to despair; yet I can consider it pure joy! Trials and temptations come while he repeatedly beats me, Christ’s assurance is true. The Righteous One looks on Him and is satisfied with me!

Look at my Savior, my righteousness is not my own, but His. He is King and has pardoned me, He is unchangeable and I am free. No tongue can curse me, there is no greater Judge. My joy is complete, my self overwhelmed! My God loves and His glory endures, I am made strong in His presence because of the One who lives through me.

My joy is in Christ my Savior and my God! All of you stand and sing, for He is great and worthy of all praise! O praise Him and know that He is Good! He has made an end to our sin, and we are free. Can the joy of that be matched? Can it be understood? Is it not so moving or overwhelming that you do not weep with gladness? Or shout in proclamation? God is satisfied; are you not?

The God I Worship

2009-05-23T16:06:00.000-07:00

The following is an excerpt from a blog (http://vanillatea.blogspot.com/) which frequently raises hoopla in my room due to its many wild theological propositions, embracement of heretics and obvious manipulation of scripture:

---

"The God I worship doesn't cause illness. He doesn't like watching suffering because it's some kind of divine plan.

The God I worship doesn't cause illness; He heals.

He hurts as we hurt. He asks us to heal the hurt of others. He sends His Spirit to empower us to fight brokenness.

Because the world isn't right. And God didn't plan for it to be this way.

So it terrifies me - it terrifies me - when people say, "God gave me cancer", as though they've accepted that.

God didn't give you cancer.

Cancer is part of the world's brokenness. And God wants you to join Him in fighting it.

God didn't even cause your home foreclosure. You know what? You might have put yourself in a bad situation. Or greedy banks might have done something stupid. But the system of economic recession which is hurting people andcontributing to brokenness isn't part of God's plan."

---

Ma’am, your god is limited by your desires and understanding, and I beg of you to repent and believe in the God of all Creation, the Unchanging, Holy, Wise and Perfect Lord and Savior. Your god is false, and you are its prophet. The Christian God is Sovereign.

You, “you speak as one of the foolish women would speak!” The Christian God allows and purposes suffering so that He might be glorified. The Christian God causes illness to “happen so that the work of God might be displayed.” He is so incredibly gracious allowing us (Christians) to suffer in the shadow of all the disciples who have come before. He wills suffering so that we might be able to understand His will and desire Him more. We suffer just as Jesus, His twelve apostles, Paul, and all of Christianity has suffered. We are promised suffering, trials and tribulation by scripture. The Christian God knows and sees all, bringing suffering, pain and illness and we praise Him for His Sovereignty and Goodness. The Christian God gives and takes; all we have and are, is for Him. “Shall we receive good from God, and not evil?”

Praise God for the maturity of those who recognize their suffering as an opportunity to love and worship the Lord!

God gives suffering. He allows pain. God doesn’t need anyone’s help to fight anything; He is almighty! God’s plan is. His will is done. Your god is false; propagated by your evil desires and idolatry of your own morality. The Christian God is sovereign and planned to use His suffering for our salvation; I’m pretty sure (certain) we can praise Him for the inconvenient “suffering” we endure, for He is “completing a good work in us.”

Justice was Denied

2009-05-23T13:11:00.000-07:00

“Like a sheep he was led to the slaughter

And like a lamb before its shearer is silent,

So he opens not his mouth.

In his humiliation justice was denied him.”

- acts 8.32

“He was oppressed, and he was afflicted,

Yet he opened not his mouth;

Like a lamb that is led to the slaughter,

And like a sheep that before its shearers is silent,

So he opened not his mouth

By oppression and judgment he was taken away;

And as for his generation, who considered

That he was cut off out of the land of the living,

Stricken for the transgression of my people?”

- isaiah 53.7-8

I find it interesting that we demand justice. We actively petition God with our works, insist that all must be given a chance at salvation because He loves, and assume our righteousness. Is it so hard to comprehend the extreme cost of the grace that is being given to us?

God demands justice, as a perfect and fair God, He must. The Christ was denied what was right, and instead took on our sins as His own in an act so scandalous it leaves the angels perplexed. Jesus was denied the justice that He so rightly deserved – to be glorified and made one with God. Instead, he was shamed, hated and condemned; separated from the Father.

And so I find it ironic that we desire justice so badly. The only thing we’ve earned is condemnation! Hell, eternal death and suffering could not begin to cover my multitude of sins; why would I ever want justice?

We should be left begging for mercy and praising God’s glory rather than demanding justice from a perfect and righteous God. Consider our Savior and the torment He endured for our transgressions; do you really want justice?

Cry Out to God!

2009-05-23T13:09:00.000-07:00

Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord!

O Lord, hear my voice!

Let your ears be attentive

to the voice of my pleas for mercy!

If you, O Lord, should mark iniquities,

O Lord, who could stand?

But with you there is forgiveness,

that you may be feared.

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,

and in His word I hope;

my soul waits for the Lord

more than watchmen for the morning,

more than watchmen for the morning.

O Israel, hope in the Lord!

For with the Lord there is steadfast love,

and with Him is plentiful redemption.

And He will redeem Israel

from all His iniquities.

As the famous sermon goes, “we are sinners in the hands of an angry God.” An idea wildly unpopular in our society, we love those who love us. We surround ourselves with false prophets who celebrate our goodness and friends who pretend we are holy. It’s time Christians get back to the basics…

Who could stand before the one true and holy God? He commands us in Matthew 5.48 to “be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” Not moral, not upright, not religious – perfect.

Why don’t we take a step back and quit attempting to justify ourselves before the Living God. If you continue, you’re stupid and foolish. God does not need your work. The gifts you give Him were never yours to give. Everything is His. If I can see past your prideful, self-righteous sham, I get the silly impression that an all-knowing, all-powerful God just might be looking through it as well. Give it up.

Cry out to the Savior; place your hope in the Lord! He has given us mercy; His redemption is bountiful and free. It does not end and it does not waver. He frees us from all of our iniquities! He gives us hope, love and freedom. He intercedes for us, blotting out our seemingly endless transgression. Waiting for the Lord is so much more satisfying than constantly trying to prove Find comfort and peace in His word and wait for the Lord in peace.

The Folly of my Patience

2009-05-23T13:07:00.000-07:00

I waited patiently for the Lord;

He inclined to me and heard my cry.

He drew me up from the pit of destruction,

out of the miry bog,

and set my feet upon a rock,

making my steps secure.

He put a new song in my mouth,

a song of praise to our God.

Many will see and fear,

and put their trust in the Lord.

I cannot stress the strength of my stubbornness and the subsequent despair and destruction that I often revel in. I often lay claim to the patience that I perfected in the military; but all too often I am merely waiting patiently for the Lord to bend His will to mine. Thankfully, I can boast of His faithfulness and His perfect record against my foolishness. His love and grace tear me out of the destruction I grab hold of and beg to stay part of. My patience is for me, not for the Lord. My cry is for my will, not His. Yet he stands me up, braces me and makes me strong. He bewilders me His overabundant grace, collapsing my will and making me whole. Songs leap from my mouth delighting to praise Him; they cannot be contained.

Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust,

who does not turn to the proud,

to those who go astray after a lie!

You have multiplied, O Lord my God,

Your wondrous deeds and your thoughts towards us;

none can compare with you!

I will proclaim and tell of them,

yet they are more than can be told.

Thank you Lord for giving me godly counselors! Keep me strong, seeking to love you all my days. Let me not turn to those who find their delight in pride and lead me to do the same. My tendency is to Your mercy is never ending! That others could only know it; grant me the strength to shout in joy and proclamation so that all will hear. Have mercy on those who hate Your will, oh Lord, make them understand their folly and let their suffering in this world be easy. May all understand that the wages of their sin is death and turn from their sin.

Sing

2009-05-16T11:09:00.000-07:00

Sing to the Lord and praise Him well,

for He has done incredible things!

Marvel at His wondrous beauty and might

for He works out all things for good

His right hand and His holy arm

has given you grace and made His will known.

The Lord has made known His salvation;

and revealed His righteousness to all people.

He has remembered His steadfast love and faithfulness

to the ones He chose before time was.

All the ends of the earth have seen

the salvation of our God.

Let nothing contain you; make a joyful noise to the Lord,

break free from your sin and into joyous song,

shout dance and sing the Almighty’s praise!

Sing praise to the Lord!

Let all the instruments praise His glory,

and be joyful before the King!

Let the oceans roar! Everything that fills it rejoice;

the world and all who live it in give praise!

The rivers rage with glory;

the hills cannot keep silent before the Lord,

for He comes to judge the earth in righteousness!

-Psalm 98 (paraphrased)

I was asked recently by a friend if I could be a bit quieter when I sing at church; apparently, I was distracting them. I mumbled a very insincere okay, and begrudgingly put in the sincere effort the next two Sundays to comply from the request I felt should be labeled dubious at best. The effort was futile though. How can one keep from bursting from sorrow trying to keep the joy experienced from dwelling on the grace of God?

The God has blessed us beyond comprehension. Sinners who wreck and hate what He loves, delighting in our own foolishness before His glory; He loves us! And we are supposed to be quiet?

The Lord rules with perfect justice. He condemns my sin and shows immeasurable grace by giving me the wisdom to discern what is right and good. Yet I should contain my recognition of His righteousness?

The Creator, who created from nothing, allows me to revel in His creation. Surely you who has found something more distracting than His beauty can tell us what it is!

The Almighty controls everything. The ceaseless tides obey His command and not a hair falls from your head without His willing it. But now you want to control the His praise?

The Savior resurrected Himself. He was shamed by me and took my condemnation as His own, interceding on the behalf of a wretch! Somehow, we find it reasonable to tone down our praise?

Rejoice you sinner! Give Praise to the God; the Ruler and Creator of all things who has exercised His will, plucking your rebellious life from the depths of the greatest despair, who is the Messiah! Fall down on your knees under the glory of God! All of creation sings, do not be alone, sing a song! Sing joyfully and without ceasing! Let your heart be glad, for even the rocks cry out our Lord’s praise!

God help our unbelief, our stubbornness and hatred of His glory. Damn our pride now, so we can know only You. For You alone are the I Am. You alone are worthy!

Cheap Grace (part i)

2009-05-08T16:08:00.001-07:00

“Cheap grace is the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline, communion without confession.”

- Bonhoeffer

I started reading through Cost of Discipleship this last week after dwelling on what it meant to be a disciple (literally follower) of Christ. I considered what it meant to follow a leader into battle or even how tracking the enemy was similar to following in the way that you are subject to his every whim; but then I realized we’re supposed to follow the Christ. The one man who lived and breathed such a countercultural life that our world has argued over him for 20 centuries!

Our Lord certainly preached forgiveness, but he required everything. We’re told to give up our life to follow Him, and that anything short of everything, is not enough. Yet we live in a society that demands acceptance. We demand cheap grace.

We want to be forgiven without putting off our desires. Why do Christians think they can preach about the love of Christ and the forgiveness of sins without talking about repentance? Three quarters of the New Testament is about repenting and turning from our old ways! When Jesus healed the sick and the blind it was because they had faith and turned from their evil ways. We are an evil people! Repent and enjoy the grace of God!

We want to baptize without making it clear that faith and repentance are one and the same. They do not happen apart from each other; they cannot be separated! We must hold one another accountable, demanding that Christ is our identity as Christians. We should see it as encouragement that our brothers and sisters in Christ are willing to discipline us, because only when it is evident that the glory of God is our utmost concern would it make sense for them to demand that we live for and like Christ! Praise God for the brother who disciplines in the name of our Lord!

And finally, we want to have communion without confession. We want to have communion without even recognizing our sins, saying that Christ came in love without judging. God is our judge! Who are we to ignore our trespasses against the Almighty God? We think we can participate in communion, without considering our sins that put Him on the cross? Him, the Perfect Intercessor!

Jesus, the name above all names, was nailed to a cross after being bloodied, beaten and battered. His flesh was torn from His body, blood flowed from His pores from the torment and they shoved thorns onto His head to comfort Him. He was thirsty, and was given sour wine. He cried out, and was mocked. He loved, and was denied.

You think grace is free? You fool! You’re dead in sin, and have been raised up to life through the death of the holy and perfect Intercessor! It cost everything; repent! That grace was not given so you could embrace your identity and celebrate your uniqueness. It is for the glory of God, a jealous God who demands not your thoughts or your actions. He demands everything; you must give up your life!

Stop living like a child, afraid of those who love you and want to see you redeemed. Quit mocking the Savior who begs you come and enjoy life. Praise the Lord above with sweet songs and the best of what you have. Do not be comforted by the liars who distract your from the pain of your sin.

You cannot worship the grace of salvation from God that comes free and without repentance. It doesn’t exist

Before Everyone

2009-05-08T16:07:00.001-07:00

I will tell of your name to my brothers;

In the midst of the congregation I will praise you:

You who fear the Lord, praise him!

All you offspring of Jacob, glorify him,

And stand in awe of him, all you offspring of Israel!

For he has not despised or abhorred

The affliction of the afflicted,

And he has not hidden his face from him,

But has heard, when he cried to him.

From you comes my praise in the great congregation;

My vows I will perform before those who fear him.

The afflicted shall eat and be satisfied;

Those who seek him shall praise the Lord!

May your hearts live forever!

- Psalm 22.22-26

Throughout life we all endure trials and suffering, begging God to have mercy on us and help us to understand His will. Too often the difficulty of this life turns our cries into groans and curses. We hide from the glory of God and the grace of Christ, forgetting what He has done.

But we worship the God, the one who doesn’t turn our back on us. Our prayers and cries are heard, they are not meaningless. We cry out, and are heard. We curse Him, and He stays true. There is nothing fair; grace is a tragically undeserved thing!

So praise Him!

Praise Him at church, praise Him at home! How can do we hold ourselves back? Let us vow our love and unity with Christ to everyone, declaring His righteousness, His love and His power! Suffer, and suffer well; because it is all for His glory that we are being sanctified. It is by grace that we can suffer for Him. If we love Him we will praise Him before everyone.

How can we keep from singing? He is Lord, be glad!

Stubborn and Aggressive Usurpers

2009-05-07T12:19:00.000-07:00

“Men have now by nature, no peace within their hearts, for God is crowned there no longer, but there in the moral dusk stubborn and aggressive usurpers fight among themselves for first place on the throne… Our Lord referred to this tyranny of things when He said to His disciples,

‘if any man will come after me, I let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever shall lose his life for my sake shall find it.’

- Matthew 16.24-25

“… it would seem that there is within each of us an enemy which we tolerate at our own peril.”

- A.W. Tozer

One of the greatest things for me living in community has been the realization of confession and the way it allows me to realize and give up my idols. Reflecting on our own idols and what is most important to us is difficult; but the rewards are endless. The joy of communion with our God is unmatched.

It is vital to our soul and spiritual health that confession to one another is constant and those around us give admonishment tempered with scripture and love.

“You who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, be submissive to one another, for ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble”

- 1 Peter 5.5

If we are unable to confess our sins to one another, we suffer from pride. As for myself, that pride was - and continues to be - one of the greatest things to ever try and overcome. Finally finding my identity in Christ after all those years of refusing to humble myself before others and bow before His will made me realize the suffering I was really going through. Being free in Christ and knowing I have been redeemed and He is working in me to complete a good work, I have confidence in confessing my fears, my shortfalls and my rebellion. Doing so helps me realize how my sin affects others and keeps my steps firm. I’ll lie to myself, because I’m quick to forgive my own pride and selfishness. I’ve found others aren’t so quick to celebrate my hate towards them and my Savior.

Being aware of the importance of submission also helps us realize what we hold dearest to our heart. The sins I struggle to tell others about and want to keep desperately hidden are the idols that need to be broken down the most. Often times my heart and mind scream at me, “it’s no one else’s business!” How far from the truth could that be? Our Lord knows all! If my sin can be known in His absolute Glory and Perfection, then how could I be ashamed to tell a fellow sinner who violates the law in the same way?

Furthermore, particularly to those who are closest, isn’t it our duty to love freely and without shame? If we are so private that our grievances against them – regardless of how small they seem to us – are not discussed openly, then how are we actually in community or loving? Are we not allowing our pride to control our relationships?

Our God created this world and saw that it was not good for man to be alone, without a suitable helper. We need one another. It is not enough to try and confess our sins to God alone. We lie, cheat and are lazy. We do it to our God and others, but we succeed the most in doing it to ourselves.

We must give up our selfishness and bend our knee to the Christ. We must crown the living God. If you refuse now, you will be forced to eventually. Every knee will bow, and every tongue will confess. Don’t make it hell, ‘suffer’ through the pain of enduring that scandalous grace you’ve been given now! Deny yourself and stop tolerating your idols.

In Christ Alone

In Christ alone my hope is found;

He is my light, my strength, my song;

This cornerstone, this solid ground,

Fird through the fiercest drought and storm.

What heights of love, what depths of peace,

When fears are stilled, when strivings cease!

My comforter, my all in all –

Here in the love of Christ I stand!

Birds

2009-05-07T11:01:00.000-07:00

“Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add on cubit to his stature?”

-Matthew 6.26-27

“You see, He is making the birds our schoolmasters and teachers. It is a great and abiding disgrace to us that in the Gospel a helpless sparrow should become a theologian and a preacher to the wisest of men, and daily should emphasize this to our eyes and ears, as if he were saying to us: ‘Look, you miserable man! You have house and home, money and property. Every year you have a field full of grain and other plants of all sort, more than you ever need. Yet you cannot find peace, and you are always worried about starving. If you do not know that you have supplies and cannot see them before your very eyes, you cannot trust God to give you food for one day. Though we are innumerable, none of us spends his living days worrying. Still God feeds us everyday.’ In other words, we have as many teachers and preachers as there are little birds in the air. Their living example is an embarrassment to us. Whenever we hear a bird singing toward heaven and proclaiming God’s praises and our disgrace, we should feel ashamed and not even dare to lift up our eyes. But we are as hard as stone, and we pay no attention even though we hear the greatest multitude preaching and singing every day.

“Look what else the dear little birds do. Their life is completely unconcerned, and they wait for their food solely from the hands of God. Sometimes people cage them up to hear them sing. They get food in abundance, and they ought to think: ‘Now I have plenty. I do not have to be concerned about where my food is coming from. Now I have a rich master, and my barns are full.’ But they do not do this. When they are free in the air, they are happier and fatter. Their singing of Lauds and of Matins to their Lord early in the morning before they eat is more excellent and more pleasant. Yet none of them knows of a single grain laid away in store. They sing a lovely, long Benedicite and leave their cares to our Lord God, even when they have young that have to be fed.

“Whenever you listen to a nightingale, therefore, you are listening to an excellent preacher. He exhorts you with this Gospel, not mere simple words but with a living deed and an example. He sings all night and practically screams his lungs out. He is happier in the woods than cooped up in a cage, where he has to be taken care of constantly and where he rarely gets along very well or even stays alive. It is as if he were saying: ‘I prefer to be in the Lord’s kitchen. He has made heaven and earth, and He Himself is the cook and the host. Every day He feeds and nourishes innumerable little birds out of His hand. For He does not have merely a bag full of grain, but heaven and earth.’

“Now, since the birds have learned so well the art of trusting Him and of casting their cares from themselves upon God, we who are His children should do so even more. Thus this is an excellent illustration that puts us all to shame. We, who are rational people and who have the Scriptures in addition, do not have enough wisdom to imitate the birds. When we listen to the little birds singing every day, we are listening to our own embarrassment before God and the people. But after his fall from the word and the commandment of God, man became crazy and foolish; and there is no creature alive which is not wiser than he. A little finch, which can neither speak nor read, is his theologian and master in the Scriptures, even though he has the whole Bible and his reason to help him…”

- Martin Luther

Mmm, how can you not love the reformers? Reading this I cannot help but wonder what else could be added besides my guilt, shame and silliness and the subsequent grace, beauty and greatness of my Lord. How can we keep from singing praise?

To God be the Glory

To God be the glory, great things he hath done!

So loved he the world that he gave us his Son,

Who yielded his life, an atonement for sin,

And opened the life gate that all may go in.

Praise the Lord, praise the Lord,

Let the earth hear his voice!

Praise the Lord, praise the Lord,

Let the people rejoice!

O come to the Father through Jesus the Son,

And give him the glory, great things he hath done!

O perfect redemption, the purchase of blood,

To every believer the promise of God;

The vilest offender who truly believes,

That moment from Jesus a pardon receives.

Great things he hath taught us, great things he hath done,

And great our rejoicing through Jesus the Son;

But purer, and higher, and greater will be

Our wonder, our transport, when Jesus we see.

Humility

2009-05-06T19:49:00.001-07:00

I listened to a wonderful sermon on Sunday regarding humility. I found it difficult to really focus on the sermon as much as several key relationships I have developed and struggled to listen to the sermon as much as wonder what those people were thinking of the sermon. It’s frustrating to listen to a sermon that way, all the while knowing that the sermon is just as – if not more – applicable to me. I hope the sermon was a blessing to those persons, and it is internalized rather than applied to others in the same way I immediately did.

After writing and expanding on several points in the sermon that stuck out to me, I was relieved to realize that just pondering about them exposed a lot of my own faults and forget about the others mentioned in the first paragraph. I thank God for His grace and mercy that even though the sermon was focused on people in leadership, its relevance to all Christians is clear. I hope my summation of the points is as helpful to you as it was for me to work through them.

Practicing humility often includes turning your critics into your coaches. Often times our critics raise concerns about us and how we act. We may not agree with them, but it is extremely beneficial to try and examine ourselves through their context and understanding. When we respond with anger and saying, “I’ve been doing this since I was a teenager and I don’t have to answer to anyone,” we should be wary of ourselves and question; what is more important, our pride or our humility? We should not assume our critics are trying to control us; rather they are concerned for our well being and seeing well come from us. Why else would they have anything to say? It is true some take joy in judging others, but is it not worthwhile to consider their words rather than repay their evil for evil? Let us be humble and upright, concerning ourselves with the critiques of others and holding the glory of God close to our heart.

Those who are humble enjoy preaching and practicing repentance. Repentance is something I have mentioned before in my writing, so I will not delve too deep into it now. Suffice to say however, it is not beneficial to merely preach it. It must be practiced, particularly towards those we love the most and those whom we lead. We cannot give up when we fail, but continue trying. I am a sinner, wrecked by the fall and I continue to do that which I know I should not; but if my response was to give up, I would continue to live in sin and forget my Redeemer. We have the power, through Christ, to overcome our laziness. Pray to Him for strength, meditate upon His goodness and go forward with the desire to do right. We will not continually succeed, but that is no reason to run farther into sin.

Those who are humble enjoy submitting to Godly authority in and out of the church. There is no question in my mind that submitting to the church is a reasonable and good thing to most Christians. Too often however, we refuse to submit to anyone outside of what we consider to be an authority in the church. We are eager to set ourselves up as Kings and refuse to submit. We loathe the idea of submitting to one another. I think scripture calls us to something more. It is not enough to merely be willing to submit to Godly authority, we should actively seek Godly authority and enjoy receiving counsel. We should enjoy trying to submit to one another in love, honoring those who are important to us.

Humility leads to the enjoyment of learning at least as much as teaching. Give up your pride, you don’t know everything. If an opportunity comes to learn and examine yourself, it is good to take it. What could be more frustrating than a Christian who thinks their knowledge and understanding of the Gospel is complete?

Enjoy Jesus’ glory more than theirs, their churches or their traditions. It’s not enough to want to glorify God; we have to glorify God more than ourselves. Our boundless pride, the perfection of our church and the trenches we’ve dug with our traditions should be negligible when compared to the love we have for the exultation of the one God.

Love

2009-05-02T16:46:00.000-07:00

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures.

He leads me beside still waters.

He restores my soul.

He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil.

For you are with me;

Your rod and staff comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;

You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,

And I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

This is a wonderful declaration of our God’s love and his provision for us that most children learn early on in Sunday School. It is often read and quoted without thought despite the noblest intentions. As I noted in my earlier entries, I really want to focus on community and what it looks like to love. I think too often we claim to love people, without loving them at all. We merely have an interest in them and what they can offer us. I’ve brought it up before, but this interest in others is not community, it is affinity. Should a Biblical community not serve one another in the same way as our Lord serves us? It is with this, that I think it beneficial to consider Psalm 23 as a way we are called to love. Do we really love?

Do we do all in our power to make sure those around us are not in need or want? Are we really a friend to others if we do not even want to try to care for them abundantly? It is not enough to say we are there; we must be there, pursuing and loving despite the discomfort and difficulty. My God comforts me despite my attempts to refuse him, providing in great excess and bringing me great joy. Do we do that for others, or allow them to help us? Do we give wise counsel, or seek it? How often do we make life good for others? And what about those we say we love?

We will fall short, but that is certainly no reason to give up. We will turn others away, but we can’t use that as an excuse to keep them far. We should be repenting to one another, doubling our efforts to love those we claim to love. Shouldn’t we be the most free around them? The more we love, the more our desire should be to treat them as our Lord treats us. We cannot get down on ourselves for failing and shirk the responsibility that comes with love. Rather, we must be upright and true. If we cannot do that, we do not love. I hope we all will consider the way we love and desire others and treat them right.

Fear

2009-04-30T20:22:00.000-07:00

I wrote the following a while back, questioning how I understand fear. I do not feel as though I have presented an airtight thought or one that is completely correct doctrinally. But I do think the way we fear is not always correct, and I hope this raises a few questions.

Fear is an interesting thing. It definitely is not something that we want to live in constantly, because fear comes from our sinful nature and is a result of the world around us.

I particularly find comfort in 1 John 4.18 where we are told: (I start at verse 16b)

"God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will confidence on the Day of Judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

I interpret this to mean that God made us with fear when it says, "The one who fears is not made perfect". But the best part is the addition of, "in love", because it shows just how much God loves us. If God hadn't created us without any fear, what would stop us from living a life for ourselves? Why would we ever think about God?

Without fear, there is no need for salvation by human reasoning. Christ would've come to deaf ears and blinded eyes. Without fear, we have no order. Laws would be broken, lives would be shattered, and we would have no reason to care. I would dare say that fear, and our instinctual understanding of it, is where our conscience comes from. Why would we have a conscience if we had nothing to fear? Without fear we would be depraved in a totality beyond comprehension.

As we learn in James, demons have fear:

"You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that - and shudder"

We know that Satan is also a demon, so logically, he also has fear. If Satan can be so depraved and reckless, with fear, what would a creation look like without fear? This thought is frightening as best!

Fear truly is a gift of God which keeps us thinking of His will during times of struggle or temptation. He gave it to us out of love and it is something I am inclined to cling to.

One dialogue that people often remember from the C.S. Lewis’ work, "The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe" is when Lucy asks, "Is he... safe?" and Mr. Beaver responds, "safe? Of course he isn't safe! But... he is good.” Lucy asks this question wondering if she is to fear Aslan or not. The answer, of course! But, he's good. This is the same thing with God. We should shake in our skin every time we consider disobeying one of God's commands. I think we forget what God is! And yet, there is nothing better to describe Him than the word, God! It is humbling to consider His even the words that we describe Him with. A proper understanding would instill such a mind paralyzing fear -beyond understanding - and yet, somehow it doesn't. Our lack of fear is disturbing.

By definition, I must believe that fear was in perfection before the fall. The only thing to fear was a pure, holy and perfect God, and what a wonderful fear to have. It would drive us to worship Him, even if we were perfect, because He is still the ruler of all.

What we experience today and our understanding of fear is not good though. I don't know that it is actually fear, but more of a gross perversion of what God intended which doesn't deserve the same word. Unfortunately, my brain fails to bring up a more fitting term. What we see today is people ultimately afraid of themselves. The fear to love, work, play because they are afraid it will not benefit themselves. They fear to fear God (or, following God) because it would harm their own person. This fear and self worship is magnified by the money-driven world we live in. It is exploited with pathetic horror movies and twisted so that we fear living without amenities. This type of fear is wrong, and depressing.

Going back to First John, we see read that "Perfect love drives out fear." So why fear still a good thing - because, as humans, we are incapable of perfect love. There will always be an element of fear in us, until we are made perfect, through Christ. God does not, and cannot fear, because He is good and He is perfect love.

Changing

2009-04-30T20:21:00.001-07:00

Why does it take so long and why is it so frustrating?

We are Christians; does our joy not come from doing right? Can we not see how miserable the things of this world make us? We bubble with the excitement of the possibility of fun, all the while brooding in our sin and becoming more and more depressed. How can evil have such a hold on our hearts?

Get away from us Satan! You cursed spirit! You have no power, you have been made to bow, and you will bow before the Messiah. Damn you and our sinful nature. May their wills never come to pass! God forgive us and help transform our hearts to your will obediently and with insurmountable joy! Tune our hearts to sing your grace, proclaim your wisdom and celebrate in your glory!

How can we feel such excitement about that which we know is evil? Why can we not see how depressed we become even looking towards evil and how does the excitement continue?

Empower us Lord, we do the things we do not want to do! Grant us the strength to serve you today, the wisdom to discern right from wrong and the willingness to obey you. We know what your will is, but we hate the way it challenges ours. Change our desires Lord, they are ruining us!

God, I need to be encouraging to others. I don’t know what that looks like. I’ve never been encouraged, only affirmed. Now, I do not even affirm! I know it is necessary Lord, help me change. Don’t let me become so sickened by sin that I despise the joy of overcoming it! Bless my efforts at trying to understand encouragement and help me to remember my own sins.

I often want to avoid issues that I know I am sin in, despite the pain and depression that the sin causes; I have no desire to deal with it. How often do I see this happening in other people, yet fail to minister them appropriately? On that note, what is appropriate? What finally causes that change apart from Christ granting the grace to see our sin and depression?

The chasm between our will and God’s perfection is so vast and great; I am in awe that He could love such a wretched people. I can’t stop wondering why our praise to Him is not bursting out at every chance. Would it be so wrong and harmful to shout in acclamation? Why are we subdued about everything related to Christ?

Let’s praise God for His deliverance! Let’s thank Him for His blessings! Every good thing comes from Him! Let all of nature, the rocks and streams, mountains and valleys sing!

God grant us the strength to worship you and do what is right! Help us take joy in the realization of your grace and love. I despise the shame I feel of being in your presence, it can only be natural that anything apart from you would be shamed! You alone are Holy! What is anything that you are mindful of it? Nothing compares to you!

God, forgive us

2009-04-30T20:20:00.001-07:00

We have not known Thee as we ought,

Nor learned Thy wisdom, grace and power;

The things of earth have filled our thought,

And trifles of the passing hour.

Lord, give us light Thy truth to see,

And make us wise in knowing Thee.

Lord I know there is nothing else that can satisfy me, please keep my life simple and clear. My life is incomplete without learning about you. I want to know your wisdom, understand your grace and marvel at your power. Make everything outside your will disappear, I beg you, I want to love you. Help me live to love you.

We have not feared Thee as we ought,

Nor bowed beneath Thine awful eye,

Nor guarded deed and word and thought,

Remembering that God was nigh.

Lord, give us faith to know Thee near,

And grant the grace of holy fear.

God make me whole. I’m rash, proud and rude; please, keep me from myself. I want to glorify you, help me fear your law, make me aware of your presence. Grant me the desire to know your sovereign will and revel in it.

We have not loved Thee as we ought,

Nor cared that we are loved by Thee;

Thy presence we have coldly sought,

And feebly longed Thy face to see.

Lord, give a pure and loving heart

To feel and know the love Thou art.

My heart longs other things; I don’t try to love you. I make no effort, yet your grace abounds. Only your glory is satisfying, encourage me to strive for you. I want to ache for you even when I’m not meditating or praying.

We have not served Thee as we ought,

Alas, the duties left undone,

The work with little fervor wrought,

The battles lost of scarcely won!

Lord, give the zeal, and give the might,

For Thee to toil, for Thee to fight.

I serve myself and forget your law. I fail your people and hate them. I don’t know how to love, change my heart. Give me passion and help me forget myself. I want to live for you.

When shall we know Thee as we ought,

And fear and love and serve aright?

When shall we, out of trial brought,

Be perfect in the land of light?

Lord, may we day by day prepare

To see Thy face and serve Thee there.

When will I love you when times are good? Why can’t I love without suffering? Make me pure and give me grace. Mold my heart and change my song I want to praise you and be made whole.

Who are we?

2009-04-30T20:09:00.000-07:00

“Where were you when the foundation of the earth was laid? Who determined its measurements—surely you know! Or who stretched the line upon it? On what were its bases sunk, or who laid its cornerstone, when the morning stars sang together and all the sons of God shouted for joy?

Or who shut in the sea with doors when it burst out from the womb, when He made clouds its garment and thick darkness its swaddling band?

Have you commanded the morning since your days began, and caused the dawn to know its place? Have you entered into the springs of the sea, or walked in the recesses of the deep? Have the gates of death been revealed to you, or have you seen the gates of deep darkness? Declare, if you know all this.

Where is the way to the dwelling of light, and where is the place of darkness, that you may take it to its territory and that you may discern the paths to its home?
Who has cleft a channel for the torrents of rain and a way for the thunderbolt, to bring rain on a land where no man is, on the desert in which there is no man, to satisfy the waste and desolate land, and to make the ground sprout with grass?

Do you know the ordinances of the heavens? Can you establish their rule on the earth? Can you lift up your voice to the clouds, that a flood of waters may cover you? Who has put wisdom in the inward parts or given understanding to the mind? Can you hunt the prey for the lion, or satisfy the appetite of the young lions, when they crouch in their dens or lie in wait in their thicket? Who provides for the raven its prey, when its young ones cry to God for help, and wander about for lack of food?

Will you even put God in the wrong? Will you condemn Him that you may be in the right?
Have you an arm like God, and can you thunder with a voice like his?

Adorn yourself with majesty and dignity; clothe yourself with glory and splendor. Pour out the overflowing of your anger, and look on everyone who is proud and abase him. Look on everyone who is proud and bring him low and tread down the wicked where they stand. Hide them all in the dust together; bind their faces in the world below. Then will He also acknowledge to you that your own right hand can save you.”

Who am I to judge the Perfect One who lowered Himself to death on a Cross for my sins? Who am I to worry, to be busy, to want, to request or to demand? Who am I to think I can hide, be alone, celebrate my independence and righteousness, or refuse God? Who am I to hate His people, being too busy to think, care or talk to them? Who am I to tell Him his commandments are too hard, not enjoyable, burdensome or constricting? Who am I to think that I can hide my idols from him?

Am I the only one who struggles? If not, why is there no one else that will talk about it? I am continually shamed by my incessant pride and stubbornness, and He is my only comfort. Is there no one else who can understand my joy; no one else I can talk to? Is it so tiring and difficult for us to love the process of sanctification and share in the joy of the work Christ is doing through the Holy Spirit in us? I am tired and beaten down from the pain of my body, constantly reminded of the work He finished. Can no one else understand the pain is not a burden but rather a chance to understand and rejoice in my Salvation? Am I really alone? Why can’t we understand the freedom we have in Him? Why do we avoid the pain and hurt, allowing it to trap us?

We’re loved. Not by each other, but by Him. Be free!

Spiritual Autobiography

2009-04-26T00:12:00.001-07:00

To all: I know this is slightly long and therefore may be a tedious read. I hope you'll have the patience however to take the time to read this. This is a rough draft of an assignment, but I realize not everyone knows or understands me. I think and hope this will explain where I come from and how I look at so many issues. I pray fervantly that nothing is more evident than the power and importance of the gospel in my life. I am nothing without it.

“To live is Christ, to die is gain.”

My justification and God’s continuing work of sanctification in my life is incomprehensible and misunderstood. It is so scandalous, perplexing and overwhelming that I cry out and grow weary from the onslaught of emotions it evicts. I wonder if anyone can understand how dirty, reprehensible and loathing I have been, and am. His grace cannot be fathomed.

I grew up in the Christian Reformed Church and attending Christian Schools all of my life. I grew up learning all of the Creeds and Catechisms a church can possibly teach. I spent my time playing sports and going to church. I never rebelled really, instead I did something worse. I enjoyed my pride. I fed it, strengthened it and allowed it to become my identity. While I enjoyed the thought of the church, I really loved and worshipped myself.

Growing up with strong Christian influences, I was taught about subjecting myself to authority and trying to understand the reason why things were done the way they were. I learned the value of finding great Christian men and subjecting myself to them, trying to learn and mature as much as possible. Looking back on it now, I think I did that more so that I could better myself and feed my pride, but at the time I certainly would have claimed it to be spiritual growth.

Fortunately, God blessed be with the shock of a few friends dying in middle school and high school, keeping me focused on things other than sex and alcohol. I poured my life into computers and sports, trying to make myself intellectually and physically better than anyone else I knew. It was all under the guise of spiritual maturity, but the focus was my own pride.

In March of my Senior year in high school I joined the Marine Corps. It was an easy decision really. I went to each of the recruiters after a schooling option fell through and I was looking for other ways to pay for college. The Army was first; they offered me $10,000 to sign up. The Navy was a bit softer; only $5000. Of course, the Air Force had all kinds of nerdy jobs and big money, but didn’t capture my interest too much. I walked into the Marine Corps’ office and the Staff Sergeant looked up from his desk. A short pause and sneer brought out the words, “Boy, you’re too damn skinny to be a Marine. Get the fuck out of my office.” My ego had been tested. After praying and talking to some Godly men and asking them to do the same, I came to the conclusion that God wanted me in the Marines. I may not have been spiritually mature or intelligent at that point, but God was abundantly clear, the Marine Corps was it for me; the college degree I was so desperate for had to wait. That October I left for Boot Camp and ended up stationed at Camp Pendleton, CA in April of 2004. In August I deployed to Al Taqaddum, Iraq with a Management Unit. My unit oversaw the takeover of Fallujah in Operation Phantom Fury, mounting a takeover of the most hostile area in the world in under a week with casualties that were less than 5% of what we expected.

Throughout the deployment I felt challenged, and closer to God. The Old Testament came alive to me, and death started to make sense. The resurrection became my only comfort. I learned what it meant to love my enemies. My soul ached for those who I knew hated the Messiah. I wept daily for them pleading for their repentance and forgiveness knowing they were cursing me. I was alone, I knew no other Christian, but Scripture was alive. This was the beginning of my Spiritual maturing. God allowed me to excel in many areas prior to this point, but I never wanted to mature until then. Despite the desire, I didn’t exactly succeed in maturing. Unfortunately, my work received high praise from my superiors, culminating in high marks, and letters of recommendations, awards and promotion. My responsibility grew daily, but not as quickly as my pride - which was already nearing a bursting point.

“What is your only comfort in life and in death?”

I returned from Iraq and was shocked by America. It was incredibly overwhelming. I suffered from headaches because of the mass of colors, was jumpy at every car that passed, and hated being safe. I reviled the ease of life and was desperate for a challenge. I wanted to prove myself, be more successful than anyone else. I had my life planned out; I went to and was involved in a good church, had nice cars, bought my own condo. I was busy, had a great career in the military figured out, traveled the world, and was strong. I was confident in Christ, blessed with everything a man could want (besides a wife!), and life looked good. I was offered the opportunity to become an officer through a program called MECEP, and declined, asking to be deployed one more time. I was granted my request and eagerly looked forward to another deployment.

About a month later, my dreams started (you can read about that here). I was plagued by PTSD and convinced I was going to die. I tried to separate myself from my friends, refusing to admit my fears, my struggles, and pain to those who loved me. I hated them for wanting to love me, for bringing up the pain, and tried to hide. I was too strong, too independent and too prideful to want them in my life. I hated the way they always wanted to love me; I just wanted to be alone. The way they asked me questions and wanted to know things; it was none of their business. The way they wanted to take care of me; was there any reason why I couldn’t do it myself? My flashbacks became as real as life; I couldn’t tell the difference. I stopped sleeping and focused even more on myself. I didn’t need anyone. I needed my mind.

Months of that culminated in a breakdown in front of one of the elders at Kaleo Church. All I wanted was prayer. Instead, I got rebuked. I got called to repentance. I was told to let others love me, let them into my life. I was reminded that not everything was peaches and iced tea, love is a discipline, it’s not always fun. It hurts sometimes, but it’s good. I was reminded that my identity was not in my comfort or my mind, it was in Christ. My hope is unchanging and mighty.

In December of 2005 I ruptured discs in my lower back, severing part of my sciatic nerve and finding myself unable to walk. The pain was like nothing I’d ever felt or experienced before. It was embarrassing, shameful and wrong. I was a Marine. I was too good for pain, too strong, too prideful. How could a small injury, something others couldn’t even see, break me? It wasn’t even visible! And I returned to my pride; I didn’t need anyone, I needed my body.

I was constantly reminded of the pain, attempting to hide it, insisting I was ok and losing more sleep every night. I couldn’t take enough drugs; I just wanted to mask the pain. I was a failure at work, no longer able to lead my Marines in any of the physical training that was central to their lives. I was useless around my friends, no longer able to help with everyday tasks or play sports with them. But I was reminded of the Gospel once again by my friends. My pride and independence were not going to be enough this time, my identity needed to be in Christ.

I gave up trying to hide things from others. It started to no longer matter what people knew about me. I was weak, I was broken, and I did suffer. But I had Christ! I was free in Him! I had friends that didn’t know or understand the pain I was in, but they empathized as best they could and they made it abundantly clear that they loved me despite the way I treated them. My selfishness and desire to be alone was no match for the love of Christ.

I was baptized in January of 2006, in the chilling waters of Mission Bay in San Diego. As the water chilled my back sending unquenchable pain throughout my body I was reminded of the Messiah’s separation from the Father, and His scandalous suffering. Why was I so blessed, and why can’t everyone experience the same joy as I did at that moment? God’s reminders are endless.

Unfortunately, so was my pride. In 2007 I discovered my identity had been stolen, and I was in debt a large sum of money. I never realized how much of my identity was in my wealth and the life I had set up. To make matters worse, not only was the debt large, it was large enough to downgrade my security clearance, causing me to lose a very high paying part-time job I was considering making full time. I was bombarded by people telling me I had no idea what I was doing – I didn’t! The realization hurt all the more and I wanted to be alone once again. I didn’t need anyone, I needed my wealth.

My desperation for solitude was interrupted by the friends who had become closer than family to me. My brothers and sisters in Christ taught me what community is and the necessity of it. It was not comfortable or easy finding my identity in Christ rather than my own strength to deal with things, but God blessed me with friends who encouraged and loved me through everything. I began to understand that my purpose isn’t to glorify myself, it is to glorify God.

"In Christ Alone"

I still struggle every day. My PTSD comes and goes, but I am no longer ruled by it. Instead, it points me to Christ, as everything should. I don’t usually sleep well because of it, but it reminds me of my friends and family that love me. I remember how desperate I am for the glory of God and wish to share that joy with others. The PTSD is not a good thing, but God works it for good and I praise Him for it. My back pain ebbs and flows, but I am the better for it. I am reminded of my sin and rebellion against God. Communion with my Savior without my pride brings tears of joy every week. It is not fair that I am so fortunate. My wallet is not fat, and I cannot find comfort in riches. Only fools can find hope in their wealth, status and power.

I’ve been made free in Christ. He is my only comfort in life and in death and I hope that I am given a long life so I can proclaim it to all. I thought I needed my mind, my body and my wealth. I needed a Savior. I needed a community that could preach Christ to me. I needed to be free, and that’s what He did for me. I still suffer, mildly (just as everyone else does), but it is a reminder that I don’t need my pride, I need Jesus. Apart from Christ I am a sinner, wrecked and ruined, but He has given me the strength to do all things. I desperately hope and plead that He uses me to spread the Gospel and that I wed my will to His. I have lost my wealth, lost my body, and lost my mind. To God be the glory! Trials have come, and at the worst of it all, when I could not fathom it any worse I realized:

It is well!

Prayer

2009-04-25T09:00:00.001-07:00

“The courage actually to go and pray for a person is a sign of sufficient faith. Frequently our lack is not faith but compassion… it seems that genuine empathy between the pray-er and pray-ee often makes the difference… We do not pray for people as ‘things,’ but as ‘persons’ whom we love. If we have God-given compassion and concern for others, our faith will grow and strengthen as we pray. In fact, if we genuinely love people, we desire for them far more than it is within our power to give, and that will cause us to pray.

“We must never wait until we feel like praying before we pray for others… we need not worry that this work will take up too much of our time, for ‘it takes no time, but it occupies all our time…’ Prayer and action should become wedded.”

- Celebrations of Discipline, Chapter 4

Richard Foster

I have been invited to participate in a project at Seattle Pacific University called Sharpen. It is aimed at promoting community at the university and its surrounding area. It has been fun considering what it would look like to be committed with a group of guys at promoting community. Reading through this chapter on prayer I was stuck by Foster’s statement that “Frequently, our lack is not faith, but compassion.”

How often do we say we love someone but lack the compassion to even pray for them? I know in my own life I frequently forget to show people love and compassion as completely as scripture instructs us to. It is difficult to love when the person you love does not show love or interest in return. Yet that is part of living in community. We are to show love and compassion to those around us regardless. We must show them compassion; compassion enough to pray for them. Community isn’t trying to find people who enjoy the same things we do but instead about how we show others love. We shouldn’t be focused on how others can serve us but how we can serve others. When we are focused on serving others just as Christ has served us, which is when we will be satisfied. Without the focus and care for others, we will be unable to feel the empathy that is so desperately needed in prayer.

Too often when we pray, we forget to try and empathize with the people we’re praying for and we miss the point. Praying in this way causes us to naturally treat them as things rather than persons, immediately separating ourselves from them.

Prayer is certainly vital to any Christian community. As much as I love scripture, others and the Lord; prayer is often what I gloss over and how I fail others the most. Interestingly enough, I am never more inclined to pray than when my compassion for others drives me to my knees. Sadly, I fear my compassion and the impact others have on me is not always evident. A trait I clearly picked up from my father, I see myself time and time again failing to make it clear to those around me just how much I love them and think about them. I hope that through the Sharpen Ministry I become more inclined to pray regularly and that my compassion and empathy for those around me is clear.

Walking in the Light

2009-04-23T12:39:00.001-07:00

One of the greatest debates in our churches today is the morality of homosexuality and how the church should treat sexual deviancy. Unfortunately, for all the arguments the advocacies of acceptance put forward, scripture is clear that homosexuality is a sin:

“Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. That is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.”

- 1 corinthians 6.9-11

There can be no question about something stated so clearly. Homosexuality is just like any other sin – it seems to be overwhelming and is so enjoyable at the moment, that we look for ways to justify it. There is no denying that sin is instantaneously satisfying; why else would we do it?

Scripture is also abundantly clear that Christians do not deny their sin. This is why I cautiously (cautious because it must be down in love, not hate) applaud those churches that condemn those who claim to be homosexual Christians. There is no such thing as a Christian prostitute, or a Christian drunkard. If we are in Christ we desire to change!

This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

- 1 john 1.5 – 10

If we do not recognize our sins as sins, then we are not Christians. We cannot make excuses, trying to tailor scriptures to meet our idols. Those who claim to be homosexual and Christian are missing the point. It is understandable to struggle with homosexual desires, just as every Christian struggles with adultery, greed and lying but to excuse it and make it a primary part of one’s identity is sinful and is outside of the Christ. To claim that both the perfection of our God and any sort of sexual deviance can and do coincide is blasphemous.

That said, those who struggle with homosexuality are just like every other Christian. We all struggle with sin, and those who struggle with those desires are no different than myself. I struggle with my own pride, hate, lust and laziness. If I ever insist that I can live with those things, celebrating them as part of my identity and the way God made me, then I am making our God out to be a liar as well.

Dreams of Death

2009-04-20T15:43:00.000-07:00

It is my eager expectation and hope that Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.

The last four years have forced me to think and reflect on death and what it means in ways most people will never realize. It caused an enormous shift in my view and understanding of Christ, the resurrection, and just how sovereign our Lord is.

The old challenge is to ask what your life would be if you died tomorrow, or next week. I wonder though, how often have you thought about the reality of death?

It was innocent enough at first, a nightmare at the end of a long day. I don’t remember when it started, just that I was particularly alone that previous day. That night was the first, but not the last, that I dreamt it.

It was a convoy like any other long, slow and tedious. They’re fun at first. But after a few there’s a certain amount of extreme dread and backwards excitement to it all that gets boring. Not enough action and you lose your edge, to much and you lose your nerve. Death is always one breath away.

Someone spotted a suspicious bomb, prompting a sudden halt to the convoy, and security was set up. I fanned out to my position, as I had practiced countless times before. Small arms fire was exchanged briefly, but quickly met with the interrupted arrhythmic fire of dying hand on an AK-47. The silent vigilance lasts forever.

Mount her! The commander finally yells, and we rise to join the convoy and head out. I place my left hand down to push myself up from the prone position I dove into. As my hand leaves the ground I hear a threatening clink. My eyes race down as the mine races up. An air burst mine, it rises 6 feet up and detonates. I leave my body. It’s not mine anymore. It’s just a body. It explodes, almost in synchronization with the mine. I watch in horror for what seemed like days as my body exploded in slow motion.

And I woke up.

It didn’t bother me too much; I’d watched similar things during my first deployment and just figured it was a memory. But then it came back the next night. And the next. And it continued for a month becoming not just a dream, but a hallucination. I would day dream, physically feeling the pain of every bone being shattered, aching inside and then waking up or snapping out of the dream unaware of where I was or what I was doing. My heart would be racing and I would often have bloody noses or blood in my mouth.

I was convinced this was how God was going to end my life. I believed it was just a matter of time. I wanted so desperately to just end my life then and there, but didn’t want someone else to suffer in the same way, so I continued on. But I didn’t live for Christ in any way those months, I merely lived to die.

I spent all of my time engrossed with work, working out, and living for myself. I avoided friends and family, insisting (and believing) that I was happier alone.

Thankfully, surrounded by Godly men and true friends, I wasn't alone and they confronted me with the gospel and laid the importance of community on me. I've never felt so weak or ashamed as those days when I realized what a poor friend I was to them, and I praise God that He has taken care of me so well. This is why community is so important to me, and why I struggle to understand the reluctance by so many Christians, particularly college students, to place community in high regard. Without those strong relationships and the desire my friends had for me, I can't imagine the state of depression I would be in. I continue to dream the same dream on a daily basis, but thanks to those who know and love me most care enough to seek me out, I am constantly reminded of the gospel and God's perfect will. It is well, with my soul.

Take your sorry...

2009-04-20T15:40:00.002-07:00

The Spiritual Classics has an interesting exercise at the end of John Wesley’s musings about sin and the new birth. The book invites the reader to review their recent actions and seek forgiveness and make amends for any wrongdoings. We’re bound to commit sins against one another. It is our nature to sin and it is inevitable. How we deal with it and how we love is another matter entirely. John Wesley writes,

“There is no condemnation for any inward sin still remaining in those who ‘walk by the Sprit.’ Even though sin may seem to cling tenaciously to everything we do, we are not guilty as long as we do not give way to it.”

As Christians we can rejoice in the freedom we have through Christ. Through this freedom we can find comfort and solace from the ways we offend one another. The key to this is rejoicing in that forgiveness and freedom from the slavery of sin rather than continually focusing on the offenses. As followers of the Savior, we should strive to not only treat others with the love and respect that they inherently merit as image bearers of the one true God, but we should right our wrongs.

I was a member of a church down in San Diego called Kaleo. It was a wonderful church led by godly men and wonderful examples. One of the greatest lessons I learned was the difference between apologizing and repentance. Too often we enjoy apologizing when we sin against one another. The word sorry is not a word of remorse but a demand for forgiveness. It does not carry with it a confession, but rather an expectation that nothing else will be asked. Sorry no longer carries any indication of sorrow, as it should.

What the men taught me was repentance. They taught me that even the godliest of men, were men; prone to sin and folly of all kinds. They didn’t expect forgiveness; they sought it through confession and repentance. After discussing their sins and going through great pain to recognize their guilt and admit what areas of their life required change and prayer, they would ask for forgiveness without any expectation that it would be given. It was a beautiful example of what living the gospel looks like, their identity wasn’t found in themselves, but in Christ. Their pride was in the Gospel, not in themselves, and through their desire to see Christ glorified they announced their sin freely and without shame. Forgiveness was not theirs to demand, but a gift of grace and something they truly cherished.

I miss that in Christians now.

The lack of concern and understanding of forgiveness as a gift is disconcerting and worrisome to me. I do not know what to make of it, and fear growing lax in repentance and not concerning myself with the furtherance of the Gospel.

It is important that Christians realize there is no shame to be felt. We are free from all condemnation! If the Almighty is for us how can we be shamed? If we are repentant and desiring Him, then He will be glorified! As Christians, isn’t that what we desire? Isn’t that what will make us happy? Let's stop being sorry and start repenting.

Community

2009-04-20T15:40:00.001-07:00

I feel as though one of the greatest things Christians lack is community. Perhaps the individualism does come from our culture, or the way we are, but I seriously doubt it. In my experience, it comes from our own sinful Pride. I don’t feel comfortable sharing my faults, or sins, so why would I want to actually be in any meaningful relationship? Repentance is difficult, and reconciliation can be awkward; and both are certainly damaging to my pride!

Coming to college has been an eye opening experience and I’ve struggled to understand and comprehend the differences between the life I’ve lived and the ways I see people living. I have difficulty with the devotion and loyalty people have to one another, the seeming lack of importance placed on community and the shallowness of people in general.

Despite living that way myself just a few years ago (perhaps I continue to today), I find myself unable to articulate why it is so egregious, and my efforts to encourage even my best of friends has failed with harsh consequences. It pains me to see them live their life unable to rejoice, suffer and worship with those they love.

Why do Christians object so strongly to love? What is it we don’t understand?

My goal over the next few weeks is to try and understand a few things:

1. What does it look like to love? Because I feel as though Christians have such a misunderstanding of what love looks like, I’m afraid this will turn out to be more of a list of ‘love is not’ rather than ‘love is’ – but I hope that it comes out through love and concern rather than disappointment and condemnation.

2. How should we love? Similar to the above question, but more ideological than practical. It’s important that Christians strive for perfection, even though we know it to be impossible.

3. Why should we love and be involved in the community around us? I desire for this to be filled with scripture, as I believe it is abundantly clear as to why. Unfortunately, Christians frequently find themselves not giving credence to the importance the Bible puts on community.

As Christians we must strive to better understand and live out the gospel, and the primary way this is done is through love. You’ve heard it said that God is love, so why do Christians not want to live the same way? If everything we do is for the Glory of God, then why do we have such a proclivity against love and relationships?

One of my favorite quotes is by Saint Augustine:

“Love God, and do as you please.”

I believe that so much can be drawn from this quote and the implications are endless. It’s not enough for us to simply think about God. Love isn’t best when described. Community doesn’t work with pride. The amount that we’re involved with the community with those around us – both Christians and non-Christians – is a visible sign of our love and the desire that we have for God’s glory to rule our lives.

Unity

2009-04-20T15:39:00.001-07:00

The Blessedness of Unity

How very good and pleasant it is when kindred live together in unity!

It is like the precious oil on the head, running down upon the beard,

on the beard of Aaron, running down over the collar of his robes.

It is like the dew of Hermon, which falls on the mountains of Zion.

For there the Lord ordained his blessing, life forevermore.

- psalm one thirty three

I really like how the psalmist rejoices in his relationships! So often we feel burdened trying to love those around us and find it difficult. We rarely celebrate the relationships we’re in let alone thank God for them. We also fall short of declaring their beauty and importance.

gentiles hear the good news

Then Peter began to speak to the: “I truly understand that God shows no partiality, but in every nation anyone who fears him and does what is right is acceptable to him. You know the message he sent to the people of Israel, preaching peace by Jesus Christ – He is the Lord of all. That message spread throughout Judea, beginning in Galilee after the baptism that John announced: how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and with power; how he went about doing good and healing all who were oppressed by the devil, for God was with him. We are witnesses to all that he did both in Judea and in Jerusalem. They put him to death by hanging him on a tree, but God raised him on the third day and allowed him to appear, not to all the people but to us who were chosen by God as witnesses, and who ate and drank with him after he rose from the dead. He commanded us to preach to the people and to testify that he is the one ordained by God as judge of the living and the dead. All the prophets testify about him that everyone who believes in him receives forgiveness of sins through his name.”

The last few days I’ve been going through scriptures with a few friends and it’s amazing to me how many times the resurrection is mentioned throughout the New Testament and all of the letters to the churches. One of our neighbors (a PA!) has been discussing with us how he is on sabbatical from church right now and how much he hates pastors who always talk about the cross and violence; proclaiming God to be a God of love.

Any person passing by our room is constantly surrounded by shouts of ‘the cross!’ or ‘the blood!’ as my roommate and I express our frustrations with Christians who are annoyed by our insistence that the death and resurrection of Jesus must be central to a Christian faith. Isn’t it obvious?

All of scripture points to the resurrection! Without the resurrection our faith is meaningless!

As Paul writes, if the death, burial and resurrection are false, Christians are the ones who should be pitied the most.

Meditation

2009-04-18T14:55:00.001-07:00

It seems to me that meditation must be a big part of a Christian’s life. Whether we realize we are meditating or not is negligible, but it is important that we do it. I like what Thomas Merton had to say about our state,

“If you desire intimate union with God you must be willing to pay the price for it. The price is small enough. In fact, it is not even a price at all: it only seems to be so with us. We find it difficult to give up our desire for things that can never satisfy us in order to purchase the One Good in Whom is all our joy.”

It seems that too often we get frustrated with anything that bends our desires or pride in any way. Unfortunately, God’s will is often contrary to our sinful nature. I believe this is why Paul laments that he is the chief of all sinners – the more he meditates on God, the more he realizes he is in rebellion. It is vital to our spiritual health and general well being however, that we don’t let the discomfort of giving up our pride get in the way of the gospel!

For this reason, old hymns are one of the most meaningful things in the world to me. I often find myself in conflict with Christian musicians and artists today because I feel it is generally too shallow. What I love about the hymns is the general progression they take:

identifying our sinful nature and the misery that we cling to so desperately

a cry to God to make us more holy, and to forgive us of our sins

celebration of His works, praising His name

looking forward to the things to come and all of His glory

I think they, like the Psalms and Proverbs, are extremely beneficial to meditate upon and consider:

Come, Thou Fount

Come, Thou Fount of every blessing,
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it,
Mount of Thy redeeming love.

Sorrowing I shall be in spirit,
Till released from flesh and sin,
Yet from what I do inherit,
Here Thy praises I'll begin;
Here I raise my Ebenezer;
Hither by Thy help I've come;
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.

Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood;
How His kindness yet pursues me
Mortal tongue can never tell,
Clothed in flesh, till death shall loose me
I cannot proclaim it well.

O to grace how great a debtor,
Daily I'm constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here's my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

O that day when freed from sinning,
I shall see Thy lovely face;
Clothed then in blood washed linen
How I'll sing Thy sovereign grace;
Come, my Lord, no longer tarry,
Take my ransomed soul away;
Send thine angels now to carry
Me to realms of endless day.

Damn Bullhorns

2009-04-18T14:16:00.000-07:00

Our Lord has a funny way of putting things in our lives. I was driving downtown this afternoon and was around Pike Place Market trying to figure out directions with my girlfriend when all the sudden I was interrupted by a boisterous cry:

“TURN OR BURN! YOU ARE GOING TO HELL!”

The offender was, of course, carrying a stereotypical sign with offensive slogans like, “Who Will Jesus Damn?” and “Comply or FRY!” I found myself in the Lord’s good graces it would seem, because this week the “Christian” didn’t have his bullhorn. Ah, Christians and their bullhorns…

I was surprised when I noticed that Philippians 2.5-11 was on the reading for today, and my mind was (naturally) forced back to sitting on the street corner listening to a supposed brother in Christ yelling, condemning and hating me. Who do Christians think they are?

“Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not regard equality with God as something to be exploited,”

In the military I struggled with the idea of killing another human, wondering why it was my responsibility to pass judgment, and it was only after countless prayers and hours meditating did I come to the understanding that that was the position God put me in. Every time I pulled a trigger or issued a command, I felt all the weight of another life in my mind. Men and women made in the image of God, a beautiful thing by any measure, and I was taking their glory from them. Who was I, but appointed to struggle with their sinful, evil nature?

It was in the struggle to understand that I realized it was the authoritative position that God put me in, and I was subject to that first. There was, and is, no pride in that. No, it was a burden that in many ways still haunts me today. I took, and continue to take, great comfort in the fact that it was my place to condemn them only in this world – not the next! God places us in authority to govern wisely, and with love. That authority is not something to be exploited, ever.

“But emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, being born in human likeness. And being found in human form, he humbled himself and became obedient to the point of death – even death on a cross.”

The authority we find in Christ is not something to hold over others with pride, taunting their every sin, worshipping their condemnation. It is something to consider with the utmost humility. If the Lord humbled himself to death on a Cross, an act of love ‘so amazing, so divine’, who are Christians to think they can taunt non-believers.

It is so incredibly sickening and confusing to me that those who claim to be Christians could dwell so much on the sins of others. It is one thing to understand God’s word and the consequences of living a life apart from the Messiah, but it is quite another to be satisfied in shouting condemnation to all people with such uncontainable glee and hate. Do they really believe their mantras? Their smug quotes and strong voices indicate they do, but can they be filled with so much pride? The more I read scriptures and experience trails, struggle through temptations and see the glory of God, I cannot help but feel akin to Paul as the worst sinner who has ever offered praise to Him. Is it really possible that followers of the same Glorious King could be so perfect as to condemn all others to hell?

It is little wonder Ghandi was so famously quoted as saying, “I would be a Christian if it weren’t for Christians.”

My prayer is that Christians everywhere humble themselves, giving the world and all its folly the same understanding that our Judge gives us. We should be ashamed to do anything else.

“Therefore God also highly exalted him and gave him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bend, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”

To God be the glory, Amen.